Your Not So Typical "Self-Love" Advice

Photo via @Loe Moshkovska

February… the month of love. Why? Well, because February 14th is Valentine's Day. Duh. Now give me chocolate and wine! 

Before we drink all the wine, let’s focus on the word “love” for a moment. When you hear “love”, what comes to mind? I’m going to take a stab at it and guess something like:

1. A happy couple (**most common**)

2. Your significant other

3. Your family/friends

4. Flowers/a bunny. What, that comes to my mind!

“Ourselves - me me me!!” is typically not the first thing, or sometimes even a thing, that comes to mind when thinking about love.

And when the action of “falling in love” is looked to be achieved, are you thinking about falling in love with yourself? Maybe, but most likely you are yearning for that love from another individual. 

So, how do we allow ourselves to know that WE - (yes, you) are the ones who need love from ourselves first? To know that you deserve so much happy and so much love, and it doesn’t have to look like “ a, b, or c”? To know that love can just be enjoying who you are, knowing who you are without someone else, and letting that be enough?

How do we make these things simple and achievable?

Like those good ol’ airplane rule-makers say, “We can not put someone else’s mask on if we do not have our mask on first”. We must remember that filling up our own cup is important, and falling in love with our own selves (no matter what your current relationship status is) is extremely important.

And why is that? So you can show up as the best {insert your name here} in this world. Plus, there is more! You will gain freedom and control of your emotions in whatever situation you are in (single, not single, lonely, etc.). Because, well, you will know how to handle your emotions with love. 

So, let’s talk about how you can keep your batteries charged (no, not just in your handy dandy you know what…) and your beautiful cup of love for yourself full and/or overflowing. Because why the heck would you even deserve less? You are human and you exist. This means you get to be special.

So, let’s start from square one. We will call it “A beginners guide to lovin’ yo damn self,” and yes, this applies to those in a relationship & not in a relationship. We all need it!

The following are unique tips for giving yourself love & care to provide you with some solid inner-being sh*t.

And what is that sh*t, exactly?

That sh*****t is: Intuitively knowing your body & soul. Being able to know what your body (your home) and your soul (your, well, you) need. Because, how can you give yourself love if you don’t actually know what you need? 

So, let’s go -

Tip #1: Learn to eat intuitively 

Eat that Cake!

• Eat a slice of the cake, two slices of the cake, or the full cake.

• This tip teaches you to take back your own power vs. giving it away to food. We all know that eating a whole cake probably won’t leave us feeling great, but if you eat the whole cake knowing exactly what you are going into + owning your decision, you are literally making it just damn fine to eat that whole cake.

• As long as you take ownership in what you are doing, you are taking back your power. 

Tip #2: Learn to move intuitively 

Ask your body what it needs

• Just like eating, when it comes to moving it is important to listen to your body. What is it actually needing vs. what you are telling it it needs?

• If you listen closely, you will actually feel what parts of your body may even need to be moved. Your arms need some swinging, your legs may need some heavy squatting, your heart may need some yoga-ing.

• It’s all there when you check in!

…Let whatever the answer to the above is, be enough

• Maybe you actually only need a walk, maybe you need to sleep. Let that be enough! 

• This works with the opposite - go to the cross fit class when you really feel like you need it, even if you do not “want” to.

• Sitting all day? Feeling bleh? Just let your body move. Shake your arms, do some bathroom jumping jacks, just do something.

• It doesn't have to look great to be great. You don’t have to sweat. I promise. 
  

Tip #3: Pamper Yourself 

Use your intuition to get grateful for those you love, including yourself

• Do things that make you feel pretty! Do things that make you feel like the best you. It is always worth it to spend that extra cash.

• Giving yourself space to reflect on the people in your life is a good way to remember that you are not alone. Who in your life lights you up & makes you happy? 

Let yourself be alone!

• Find those activities or “things” that light you up. These can be as simple as sipping your coffee in the morning or watching the bachelor on the treadmill.

• Know what your “things” are, and be sure to keep doing whatever keeps your light running on your own. Even if you are in a relationship.

Before you go adding all of these items into your “must learn” list, here is what we actually want you to take away from this post:

 You don’t need to really do much to give yourself love. You just need to pay attention to what you need & who you are - you already have the answers!

Trust yourself and be easy on yourself. Be yourself and own who you are. You will notice that once you really invest in paying attention to your own heart and being, you won’t need to compare your life to others, lean on a significant other, or wonder why you are not feeling happy. You get to know yourself (the good, the bad, the all…) and you get to learn exactly what you need.

So, I’m telling you to give yourself a big hug RIGHT NOW. Feel that love you have in your heart and let it consume you. YOU are special, and I am so excited for you to fall even more in love with who you are.

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Caren (sair-en) DeCesaris

Caren is a "drop into your body" junkie. She loves all things movement, creativity, and fun. She is the host of SoulSpeak The Podcast & speaks publicly on topics covering spirituality, living authentically, and intuition. Caren is also a 200 hour YTT trained yoga & Pilates instructor with a passion for incorporating intuitive (improv) body movement into her routines.

You can find Caren dancing around, well anywhere, or eating (& cooking) fab food when she is not doing the above. Hang with Caren here.